Beginning Placement

Creative reflection around the beginnings of placement.

Walking into the sea feels intimidating. Not being able to see my feet and the uncertainty of what lies beneath creates immediate discomfort. My body freezes. My shoulders tighten, my breathing gets shorter, and my chest is caged. So, I take a few steps back and find solace in walking on the sand until I can sit down. I close my eyes, and I breathe slowly and steadily. Five-finger breathing. 6 in, 4 out. The waves crash against my shoulders and dip below my chin. It's warm and comfortable here. I've established a sense of safety, both figuratively and physically. My hands press in the sand, and the downward force brings release back into my shoulders. They drop, and my chest joins them.

The risks are still within arm's reach: a splash in the eye, the possibility of falling back, being overpowered by the waves, or having an inflatable ball accidentally hit me in the face. However, I can find comfort here soon. These risks are manageable. What helps is knowing I’m not alone. I see a familiar face in the deeper water encouraging me, another on the shore, and yet another at the beach hut. The presence of familiar company motivates me to find the courage to venture deeper.

I’m still new to these waters, but discovering my place is a gradual process. I feel happy here now, and I can go deeper when I’m ready—just a little bit at a time. There’s no expectation for me to be a pro diver just yet.