I don’t push, I guide

In a recent workshop, I asked for feedback, and a participant shared that they "thought I was going to push more to go deeper and get the emotions out." We had a lovely conversation; it was excellent food for thought as a practitioner. The feedback brought a sense of inspiration, clarity, and even pride. Pushing isn't how I choose to work, and in this context and setting, 'pushing' doesn't feel healthy or supportive.

How I Work

The way I practice (in these workshops) is invitational; it's not a demand. Ownership, empowerment, and curiosity build the foundations. When I mention empowerment, I am speaking from the feeling of giving yourself permission to act on something that will bring value. I offer pathways, but you choose which one to follow or not.  

I often start with landing, a process of stillness, typically lying on the ground. The purpose is to settle in the body and notice any sensations, feelings, thoughts, or emotions present. From here, feelings can be discovered on a deeper level, and when you can eventually incorporate movement, it will enable them to come to form, and you can expand on them.

The embodied journey is beautiful but can be challenging and take a while. It's a practice, informed by theories, concepts and approaches. I facilitate from compassion and curiosity in my embodied presence, as I will also be involved. I model this through being a patient practitioner, a generous witness and a curious mover. Unfortunately, especially Westerners, we aren't raised in a society that encourages listening, self-care, and embodiment. Many of us are taught to hide our feelings, suppress our emotions, and not express them; these workshops are the total opposite of that. They support presence, self-love, and authenticity - expression is always welcome, but I need to make sure it’s done safely. What is it you want to release? Can I or this space hold it right now?

Determining when someone is ready to go deeper in a group setting is more complex; not everyone may be in the same place, and participants engage differently. Some may want to start journaling or drawing, which will be welcome. Some may remain in the landing process and take the rest of the session as a guided meditation (again, welcome). These differences are honoured through supporting individual readiness. In a 1:1 setting, I still may ask, though it remains an invitation.

I regularly incorporate writing and drawing to complement the process of expression. This adds another layer of choice with what you want to attend to and how. What is it you're noticing? What do you want to do with it? What do you need in response to it? Pen to paper can feel more familiar and accessible, and using this alongside movement can bring clarity to embodied feeling when returning to the tracking process. The tracking process is the witnessing of emotions as they surface in the body, an element of Authentic Movement developed by Mary Starks Whitehouse.

I developed an interest in building my practice around embodiment after my experience through professional dance training. You are regularly told what to do with your body and pushed to limits you may not be ready for, for the sake of others' expectations. Training was far from holistic; it was mainly about the outside. We were trained to perform, not to feel. A few years later, an eye-opening depressive episode inspired me to think about how emotions exist in the body and shortly after, I discovered Somatics and afterwards DMP. In reflection, this experience inspired my awareness and need for this practice’s depth, ethics, and sensitivity.   

The Ethics of Not Pushing

To me, pushing implies you're doing something incorrectly or you need to do more. That’s not my decision to make. I can and will lead you to the emotion, but how it comes up can be discussed safely. When feelings and emotions are surfacing, there is no right or wrong with what arrives. It feels unethical to tell you what to do with your body in a space that is deeply authentic, sensitive, personal and shared. If we are working 1:1 and it’s bubbling at the surface and the client wants more time with it, we can then work from there. I can ask what is it you’re feeling? Shall we explore this deeper? How can we express that? This process in either setting (group or 1:1) is not performative, technical, or for someone else's purpose; it's for you. ‘Pushing’ strips you of the empowerment, readiness, pride and ownership of what you may experience.

The conversation around pushing also raises safety concerns, questions about trauma, and awareness. What if you're not ready for what you want to be 'pushed' to approach? Do you know what you're pushing yourself towards? Why do you need someone else to push you there? This is why going at your own speed, making choices, and doing what brings comfort is vital. In my workshops, the space and I are the container, and I am developing the skills to manage these situations ethically and compassionately. Allowing these feelings to surface when they're ready may give you more time to be prepared for them.

Movement vs Dance

 I will speak on it throughout my career, but to me, this is the difference between movement and dance. Movement is the shift of feelings, the discovery of emotions, and them taking an authentic form of expression – a state of exploration, flow and release. Dance is beautiful and can be incredibly joyous and celebratory, though it is typically informed by external elements. Design, music, shape, for example. I'm not saying dance can't incorporate feeling, and you can't dance from the felt sense because, of course, you can, but typically, it is about what's perceived on the outside. This is also why I haven't used music yet; even a neutral ambient score can subtly suggest an emotional direction, distracting from what's truly present. I understand this might not resonate with everyone, and I respect differing perspectives. 

There is also a noticeable difference between embodied work and verbal therapy regarding emotional processing. Not everyone is comfortable speaking and aware of their feelings, so how are they expected to talk about them? Feelings exist in the body; they're not cognitive. Feeling something deeply often appears as sensations: heat, weight, shaking, tension. These sensations surface in response to the more profound emotion. Movement helps access and explore something that may be challenging to process verbally.

Closing Reflection:

Moving from the felt sense is a deep and enriching experience, though it can also be challenging. It requires authenticity, curiosity, courage, and a lot of compassion. Throughout my training, I have been familiar with how I want to approach my practice, and it was nourishing to have this confirmed within myself when approached with this question. I believe in empowerment in movement, ownership of exploration and finding joy in the discovery process. We are sensitive beings, and owning and expressing our feelings makes the ground beneath us and our sense of self stronger.

So, this is why I don't push; I guide and encourage because it's your journey, not mine.